In their excellent book, One Nation under Therapy, Christina Hoff Sommers and Sally Satel discuss a game that is part of a public school course aimed at helping students to get in touch with their feelings. Students toss a beanbag to one another. The person who catches it is suppose to describe how he or she is feeling at that moment. Or if the student hesitates he is asked to divulge what prevented him from sharing his feelings. The quick interchange forced by such a game is designed to break down inhibitions, and social pressure is used to coerce students to think about and talk about their feelings. The book also describes other techniques used to make children think about and verbalize how they are feeling. The objective is not merely to get children to think about themselves, but specifically to focus on their feelings.
As we discussed in the last posting, this is the essence of the self-esteem movement. I am called to think about my feelings about me, and to do so with favor. We noted that a low self-image is also the product of self-preoccupation. What is the impact of this focus on one’s feelings?
It is noteworthy that immediately upon the fall, Adam and Eve became aware of their nakedness. We see from this that a self-focus with the resulting self-awareness were the first manifestations of the fall. The case might be made that this self-orientation, the “how do I feel about me” question, constitutes the core of our fallen nature.
Support for this thesis is found in the fact that this self-orientation gets us into so much trouble. In previous postings I have presented evidence that our efforts at self-esteem have not proven to be helpful, but rather are counterproductive. However, even casual observation reveals that. Across the past several decades both our secular and evangelical societies have been immersed in a culture of self-absorption and self-esteem. Would we conclude that our society is better or worse for it? And what about the individual, is he healthier or more pathological? The answer to that question might be found in another. Has the use of psychotropic drugs increased or decreased? Or another, are individuals sensing a need for more or less therapy?
There are two major problems with this self-focus, especially when its objective is to look in and like what we see. The first problem is that there is much not to like. All of us sin against God, our kind and loving creator and redeemer, and we do so on a fairly regular basis. If someone could videotape your thought-life for the past 24 hours, would you want the video shown in public? If the answer is no, and I have not yet run across an affirmative response, then apparently our self-esteem is not rooted in reality. If we are such noble creatures, one would think that we would be eager for everyone to see our hearts publicly displayed.
This being the case, the self-esteem advocate is calling us to play let’s pretend, to live in a fictitious world in our view of ourselves. Such self-deceit is unhealthy. In fact, for most of us it is impossible. We just can’t fool ourselves that much. Therefore, the call to look inward just makes us more miserable.
Then there is the person who looks inward and likes what he sees. He is comfortable with who he is. This person is the most pathological of all because he is unaware of how bad off he is. Like the church of Laodicia in Revelation 3, he is unaware that he is “wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked.” The push in our society to get everyone to be like this person has produced the obvious, it has spread the pathology.
The solution is found in the admonition in the great commandment to love God with all of our heart and soul and mind and strength. By maintaining a focus on Him, and on others for His sake, we develop psychological health, relational enrichment, and spiritual well-being. We need an evangelical reformation that encourages this biblical and healthy approach to life.